For a minute there, I lost myself

I was watching the local channel tonight in insane boredom, and a school board meeting was on. They were giving awards to the national merit scholars. It made me so sad.

First of all, let me just say one of the semi-finalists was playing beer pong in my dining room last night, so that just says a lot to me about the whole thing. Role of the school has changed how I view school incredibly. School shouldn't be about taking tests. These high schoolers were standing there, feeling as though they have the world at their fingertips. They are the elite few. They think that society has a special place for them. The world will come crashing down in college when they find out this is a lie. They have to make their way and fight just like everyone else in college. College classes aren't about getting an A on some worthless multiple choice test. 

I have just got to learn to let it all go. School was my life for so long and shaped so much about me. And I just can't move on. I'm stuck as that child who is so depressed to learn that she doesn't have the promise that teachers said she had. The girl who met people that were smarter than her and realized that her whole life to that point was a lie. The girl who once aspired to go to Harvard only to learn it would never happen. 

Let it go.

If this post is disjointed, that's because it's 3am.